The Big news

So I haven't written here in a long time. I haven't done much of anything PUBLICLY for a long time. It's because INTERNALLY I have been really busy.

Baby Pictures

Anyone who tells you pregnancy is a wonderful time of your life is an idiot. Or still pumped full of those delusional "happy hormones" that I have clearly yet to receive. Let me sum up the first trimester with one word. VOMIT. AND to point out that it is one evil trick on the part of mother nature that your sense of smell increases phenomenally just as you enter this phase. Enough said, trimester 2 is much better however I am not "glowing" (unless you count the sunburn of last week, I didn't know my skin is now hypersensitive to sunlight) as everyone says I should, my skin is worse than it ever was during puberty acne days, and my hair is not thick and lovely, in fact I have discovered GRAY. The walk up the hill from my car to the house, requires a resting station about half way up, luckily in front of a kiosk where I can purchase an ice cream if I time it well. As for weight, I don't want to discuss it, 16 weeks in, I have gained 8 kilos (the doctor initially predicted 12 overall, now hes shooting for 15 plus). I have come to the realization that the leech inside me is probably ruining my body for life. I have low blood pressure, which the doctor says is not wonderful, but much better than high blood pressure, but it causes me to have ringing in my ears and feel faint most of the time that I am standing, lying down all the time isn't an option because Im supposed to be working and carrying on as if everything is normal. How can anyone think the entire reorganization of your skeleton (30% less calcium), circulatory system (30% more blood) and internal organs (all now apparently located under and stuffed into my breasts) is normal?

Plus, I live in constant fear that I am doing something WRONG, to the leech. Clearly it can fend for itself, I experience this daily, and although the doctor says it is still too soon for me to feel the baby,, I tell you the fluttering and goings on in there is not gas, but the leech doing gymnastics. So far the sport cannon is great, passed every test with flying colours, what a relief, but I suspect this is only the beginning of a lifetime of worry about a little life that I might be helping to build at the moment but clearly have absolutely no control over and never will.In fact I suspect as far as control goes, the leech has all of it hands down, over both me and Harry. Another thing to accept. We are just around to help build and will probably get kicked in the stomach a lot of times in the process.